The story of Superdry

Here are the brass tacks of the Superdry jackanory told in cockney rhyming slang. 

Lovely clobber

A geezer by the name of Julian Dunkerton has an idea one day. He's sick to the back of his Hampstead Heath of freezing his jacobs off on a market stall. He wants to go into business for himself, but needs some sausage and mash, so borrows 2 G's off his old man and opens his own shop, 'Cult Clothing'. At the time, his best selling brand was Bench, until that is, Bench got sold over to the Yanks. The main cheese for Bench was a fella named James Holder. Now James got squeezed out of the deal and didn't make a penny from the takeover, leaving him completely brassic. Meanwhile, whilst Bench was taking off on the other side of the pond, Julian noticed that Bench was in barney rubble this side of the water. Turns out us Brits weren't taking to the new direction. 'Fuck this for a game of toy soldiers' thought Julian, 'I'm going to start my own brand'. So he got in touch with his china plate James Holder and flew out to Japan to have a butchers, maybe get some inspiration for some designs. As soon as they got off the plane they got a sandy mcnab down to the rubbity-dub for a couple of nelsons, and this ladies and germs is where Julian and James's Donald Duck was about to change. Julian gave the barman a dirty den for a couple of pig's ears and the name of the pot of good cheer that was presented to them was called Superdry. So he lifted the name and stuck it on the front of his clobber. They then preceded to get Oliver Twist, and the rest is history. 

Do you speak it?