Richard Bacon the Scarf Fashionista

Bacon, not a nazi. 

Richard Bacon must secretly love this weather. Every time he is snapped on the red carpet outside a swanky fund raiser or plush 3 star Michelin restaurant, his neck is adorned with a new scarf. I am personally in favour a good scarf, but a practical one that stops the icy chill of the english wind ripping down your spine, not the light scarves of frail gauze that is designed to look slightly cool on a once hip radio presenter whilst he hosts some pointless pageantry award show for forgotten celebrities. No Bacon! The function of a scarf is practicality one, Fashion second. The wearing of scarves by men was popularized by the aviators in both World Wars, who used the scarf for warmth as they scanned the sky for enemy planes. It was not intended to be draped around the necks of the Bourgeois Bacon's of this world whilst they view the latest West End release from the royal box, a molotov cocktail in one hand, a pair of french telescopic handled opera glasses in the other. 

No one likes a nazi punching your ribs.

Here are five ways to gauge whether your scarf is practical or just an apology designed to divert attention away from how your pink suit jacket in no way matches your stone-wash denim jeans. 

1. Is it strong enough to hold your weight as you zip slide down a telephone wire to escape a prison that you were wrongfully held captive in with Kurt Russell?

2. Will the fabric be resilient enough to drag you through the streets of Shoreditch once you've trapped it in the car door of a taxi?

3. Can it be doubled up as a whip to stop your dad falling off the tyres of a tank whilst a nazi punches wildly at your ribs?

4. Could you use it to lower yourself into a pit of molten lava whilst giving the thumbs up to protect the future of mankind from a cyber war lead by artificial intelligence whose continuing goal is to end the human race?

5. Will it be able to withstand great strain as you attempt to climb out of a well-like pit that a mercenary ex-communicated from the league of shadows put you in after he beat you in a fisty-cuffs down a Gotham sewer?

@thepeterbrooker