Christmas drinking and Knitwear

If your Christmas day routine is anything like mine then you'll be slipping blissfully into an almighty food coma around mid-afternoon, sporting a semi-ripped chrimbo cracker hat after feigning delight and surprise whilst opening up presents from estranged family members. But you will need to be aware christmas campers as you slump gracelessly across the chaise longue with a suspicious wet patch emanating around the fly of your jeans,  you will undoubtedly be having your picture taken every five seconds of the day

Christmas, drink hard and stay home

by some c*nt intent on trying out their new camera. They will then be tagging your drunken mug in every album on every platform of social media. So although you may be catatonic at the time, it's important that we at least get snapped wearing something reasonably refined.
I would push for something that doesn't make you look like a complete twat. Steer clear of anything too predictable. So no football shirts, nothing with a fair-aisle pattern and if there are any women reading this, for fucks sake, no Cow Prints onesies.

Can't go wrong.

I personally will be rocking this little number. This Luke 1977 Hammy Stripe Crew Sweat comes with a contrast breton striped body and sleeves and a lion crest on the chest pocket. Inspired by the name given to a lewd act from a certain build of lady carrying a little extra chicken. Look up Hammy in the Urban Dictionary for further details. Final tip - If you happen to be awake when the camera goes off, make sure you check your teeth for flakes of mint sauce before you flash them through your red-wine stained lips.