Tap Room Review

Tap Room, or the OK Corral

Saturday night was spent down the Tap Room in St Ives, Cambridgeshire. I was gutted to be missing out on the Groves V Froch fight but had some wingman duties to fulfill. Upon arrival, I ordered a San Miguel and began talking some tosh to some blonde about how prudent the smell of Cedarwood was in her fragrance. We were getting on splendidly when out of nowhere, some drunk tw*t crashed into her, knocking her entire glass of red vino all over my Bolongoro jacket. I excused myself and ventured into the mens room to dry myself off in the privacy of its only cubicle. I had just started to take a piss when two men smashed through the cubicle door, one clearly was getting the better of the other. Unfortunately I couldn't stop myself mid-piss so inadvertently found myself having front row seats to an utter and unremitting pasting. Two other gentleman guarded the door so no one else could get in or out. It has to be said it was a very well executed beating, almost mafia like. It was all over in a matter of minutes, the Cambridge mafia issued a warning to the victim never to come back to the Tap Room and left. I picked the loser up from the floor, dressed him, mopped the blood from his nose and mouth and gave him some reassurance about how everyone gets a beating every now and then. I had of course lifted the line straight from Goodfellas. I finished my San Miguel, told my buddy we were leaving, handed the blonde my number and got the fuck out of there. I would actually recommend the Tap Room in St Ives, the bar staff are pleasant, the women smell good, and the fights don't get stopped controversially.

Good old fashioned beating