One Chav and his dog

One chav and his dog 

Society has questioned for sometime whether dog-fighting is actually a front for most Chav's owning and breeding dogs. One spokesman for the Chav movement has declared that Chav's have 'nothing to hide' and all necessary torture on their dogs are done to enhance their killer instinct in the ring. We sent our investigative reporter behind the scenes to find out what are the real motives for owning a chav dog.


The Bull Terrier



Bull Terriers are renowned for being incredibly independent. The Bull Terrier is perfectly suited for the lazy stoner Chav as it is perfectly capable of walking himself, sourcing his own food and can even bring home a wage to contribute to the households out goings. Though typically the tax payer will foot the bill for all the Chav's day to day expenses and the Bull Terrier's wedge will go towards the Chav's girlfriend tit job. 








The Staffordshire Bull Terrier

One for the Savvy Chav. The Staffordshire Bull Terrier is known for its character of intelligence, which is why you may have seen a rise of Chav's at your local pub quizzes. 'The Chav's are cleaning up at the weekly quizzes these days.' One landlord was quoted as saying, 'You can see their dogs whispering in the ears of their owners. Previously the Chav's could only answer questions about reality TV and the strength of Kestrel lager, but thanks to their cognisant canine companions, they can answer pretty much anything.' 





The Rottweiler

Rottweilers are commonly used as search and rescue dogs, as guard dogs or police dogs, and as guide dogs for the blind. The fraudulent Chav will fake blindness to claim a disability allowance and have incorporated the Rottweiler as part of their cunning rouse. Kenzie Voi, a Chav from Staines, told an inside reporter 'No ones gunna mess with you bruv. No ones gunna ask questions innit if you gotta rotter on a lead. I can walk through the drive-thru at McDonalds with one of these. As long I don't get caught reading Max Power in public or tell reporters what I'm doing I'm onto a winner, quali'ee'. 



The Bullmastiff

Activities bullmastiffs enjoy include obedience, agility and tracking. The forgetful Chav will often utilize the tracking skills of the Bullmastiff, when he or she has misplaced his lighter, his keys to his pimped Citroen Saxo, or even his fake burberry baseball cap, then the multi-purpose molosser will sniff it out within seconds. 




The Snoop Dogg

Yes a faithful companion to any Chav's stereo. Chav's will often have an inherent fixation with all things hip-hop and the Snoop Dogg is often revered as the tip of the spear for the voice of the Chav movement. Often heard late at night as a Chavalanche of pimped up Nova's descend upon an empty supermarket car park.