The Deets at the Proud Galleries

When I was out in Texas a few years back, (playing the SXSW Festival thanks for asking) you couldn't get into a bar without showing your ID or passport on the door. I don't know when we started this horse-crap over here, but my last two outings to the big smoke have all began with unnecessary profiling. Bouncers are now asking for ID, not for age requirement purposes, not because they believe your part of an Al Qaeda sleeper cell, but so they can get your personal details and spam you in every orifice for the rest of your life. The terrorists have won by default. These clubs and bars don't need to see your National Insurance number or your birth certificate for security details, all they're interested in is pumping your inbox with endless promotions and pointless e-flyers. I could go on, and I will. Tell the assholes with the clipboards you don't have any ID and start walking away. On both the occasions I have done this I've been called back.
'Ok we'll let you in, just this once.'
To which I always say, 'You told me that last week'.

Anyway, so I enter the Proud Galleries. The girl at the bar, who is wearing a white lace basque with matching stockings and suspenders, stiffs me £4 for half a lemonade. I stick my jacket in the cloakroom and when I ask the attendant if I will get my two quid deposit back, he looks at me like I've just asked him to put his cock in my drink. What happened to those days when you used to get your deposit back for putting your jacket in the cloakroom? 

Deets in full flow

There is something going on in each booth of The Proud Galleries. There's some kind of raffle for single people, there's a queue for tattoo's and there's a band called The Deets on the main stage. At a glance I'd say they're the bastard child of Maximo Park and The Futureheads, on closer inspection I'd say I was right. Here is a quick Q&A with someone from The Deets.

How often does your drummer get mistaken for Non from Superman 2? 

The drummer from The Deets

To be honest, we've not heard that one before but after having a look at Non, I think that name could stick. He's usually known as the grizzly bear or the abominable snowman.

Best venue in London to gig right now?

Got to be the Roundhouse in Camden. Jono & Ian saw Vampire weekends there a few months back and the place was buzzing. Definitely one we want to perform at in the future.

Who's ass stinks the most in the tour bus?
Definitely Mikes (bassist). His arse never shuts up, it's f*uckin annoying.

You've played in store at Liam Gallagher's Pretty Green store. What would you call your brand of clothing if the band was to launch one?

Well, we like to dress smart as a band. We're big fans of Pretty Green, Fred Perry, Ted Baker etc. however if we were to call our brand of clothing a name, I think we'd have 'Bearded Clothing.' 

Non from Superman 2

The guitarist in my old band once said 'Wouldn't it be great if we were all gay, we could suck each other off to help pass the time between sound checks and shows. How do you guys pass the time?

Hmmmmmm. I suppose that would be a good thing yes, but we pass the time but taking the p!ss out of each other non stop. 

Ever met a sound guy that doesn't have body odour issues?
We have actually. Very rare but there's been a couple of decent sound guys who seemed to have showered before the gig. Always a bonus when you turn up and that happens.

What's next for you guys? Album release? EP? Single?
Well, we've just come out the studio after recording a 4 track EP. Our management are currently sorting a support tour for the next couple of months. The plan is to play to as many people as possible, then hopefully an album for next year.

Who do you think should be the next Bond?
It's got to be Pete Doherty right?! Just imagine him trying to save the world. He'd just be in the corner absolutely f*cked. Great TV come on!