Have you ever done an Olly on a skateboard and simultaneously shat yourself?
That's an unusual one to start... Not even a 'Hello'... I have dabbled in the art of wood pushing, however, I gave up when Tony Hawk stole my signature '900'. Even though I had perfected in on the notorious ramps of Somersham. In answer to your initial question... No.
Does your girlfriend wax your eyebrows?
I'm afraid I'm a single pringle these days and the wax is kept purely for my legs.
So we can't talk about your job as a spy, but have you ever chinned a girl in a bid to obtain information from her relating to the disappearance of a Russian Satellite?
Well in the echo of the recent UKIP fiasco... Women don't belong in the work place, so a cheeky slap on the arse and nut to the face shouldn't have been an issue, but HR still strung me up by my balls about it. You will discover however my methods of interrogation are normally more subtle, usually involving water torture and cobras (not the popular lager).
You play guitar and Snowboard too. Ever done both at the same time?
No that would be silly... Ukulele however yes.
Ever bought or worn women's clothes by accident?
I've worn women's clothing yes... however ...never by accident.
You have a lustrous head of hair. Ever thought of doing hair modeling?
I actually have lol... My hairdresser entered a competition and used me and two others.
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Where's the best place to eat in Cambridge and what would I wear?
Well I'm very partial to a Wagamammas (or however it's spelt). I would definitely recommend the Firecracker for both of us, THE most amazing dish I have ever eaten. You would wear something slutty so I could shout "YOU EYE-BALLIN' MY WOMEN BITCH?!" Proper Jesse from Breaking Bad style.
Do you find it impossible not to laugh when a young child face plants the pavement or runs into a glass door?
I managed the glass door one as a kid, since then the Grandparent's conservatory doors have had a strip of tape over each door.... Only yesterday I nearly wrote off a two year old throwing him onto a sofa not realising the arms were solid... With a loud 'THWAK' (Just like in old skool batman) he starts crying. However Dad rushes over tickles the crap out of him distracting the tears... Only to hear... "Again, Again" ... Kid's a beast.
Look it's obvious you're a spy, ever had a fight on top of a train?
Yeah but some bitch with a sniper riffle shot me off it then I fell for like forever ...But wasn't dead and the film carried on... Wait... No that's Bond ain't it...
Anything you want to plug?
Errrr...Not overly ... Actually yeah, there is a shop in Ramsey called Taffin or something? Think Pierce Brosnan runs it... Good man.
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