What to look for when shopping for Jeans

When you're shopping for some denim jeans, you may already have something in your minds eye that you think looks cool on you. I would advice you to follow your gut if you're a happily married man, or someone that is crushing ass on a regular basis. However if you're a single man and only own 2 pairs of denim, one of which only gets worn when you head out to the greyhounds for a christmas work do, then it's time to shake up your denim etcha-sketch.

Kanye In Levi's

But where to begin Pedro I hear you cry as you put the pot noodle to one side and take a break from the one-handed yoga. Well the good news is that you have an infinite amount of brands out there. You even have a brand called Kangaroo Poo. But don't buy Kangaroo Poo, they're literally, sh*t. 

You may get baffled by the denim geek sales guy that wants to shower you with denim jargon. What the devil is he on about when he tells you that the jeans are distressed? Were they beat up as child? Are they behind on their credit card payments? Why can't we just go back to the good old days of Levi jeans and their adverts with great guitar music? The original Levi's looms are housed in Japan, home to the best denim artisans in the world. The factories are family owned and passed down from one generation to another. Kanye was rocking a pair of Levi's at a french tennis club last week, 300 nicker, but they looked so hacked up it's like someone had thrown them through the propeller of the Memphis Belle. 

So here is a quick idiots guide to some of the terminology that the sales guy might try and dazzle you with.

Raw - Is a denim fabric that is not washed after being dyed during its production. 

Distressed or Abrasions - Artificial stresses are made during production, often with sandpaper or similar abrasive tools to give that pre-worn look.

Honeycomb Fades

Honeycombs - Artificial fades given to the back of the knee. 

Whiskers or moustaches – Faded streaks that surround the crotch area of the denim.

Stretch denim - Stretch denim usually incorporates an elastic component (such as elastane) into the fabric to allow a degree of give in garments. Only a small percentage is required within the fabric (approximately 3%) to allow a significant stretch capacity of around 15 percent. But this will reduce the life span of the product.

Selvage - Created using one continuous yarn. A mark of premium quality. When worn with a turn up the two selvages are visible rather than an unattractive overlocked edge. 

TIPS 

Ok if you have legs like a woman and you're over 6ft, then yes, you will look the part in skinny jeans. Are they cool? no.

If you are a rugby player, or wider than you are tall, don't even look at the skinnys. Boot cuts are out, tapered are in. You're best off with a roomier jean round the thigh or possibly one with a torquered seam to follow the contours of your leg.

G-Star have launched a very exclusive range that do just that. They have always been typically dark, a huge backer of the RAW jean. They also pay the chaps from Kasabian to be the face of the brand. So if you're into your Raw jeans and you're rock n roll?..

Kasabian front G-Star

Yes turns ups are ok and don't ever think forking out 100 nicker is too much for a pair of jeans. Chances are if they're worth their salt they'll last you 10 years, if you only have 3-4 pairs on a weekly rotation thats roughly twice a week you'll be wearing those, not counting the amount of times you'll sleep in them drunk. That works out about 100 times a year you'll wear them, which means on average, you'll be paying 10p each time you put them on. Is that right?  Do you know what I've completely lost my train of thought. Someone else talk for a bit.
Lastly.If in doubt just go for something clean, straight, unwashed and abrasion free. But know that your jeans will fade with every wash, even if they are pre-washed. So just air them on the line or hose them down in Febreeze once in a while.